How Loyal Are You?

When reading about Jesus’ last days on Earth, one of the themes that emerges for me is that of loyalty. Jesus, who had 12 devoted disciples, was left betrayed and abandoned that fateful night when He was arrested and brought to trial.

The obvious disloyalty came from Judas Iscariot, who led a mob sent out by the chief priests directly to Jesus.

“…Judas had told them, ‘You will know which one to arrest when I go over and greet him. Then you can take him easily.’ So as soon as they arrived he walked up to Jesus. ‘Master!’ he exclaimed, and embraced him with a great show of friendliness. Then the mob arrested Jesus and held him fast…Meanwhile, all his disciples had fled.” (Mark 14:44-46, 50)

Judas betrayed Jesus with cunning precision. He planned the whole thing out, right up to the embrace.

The other disciples however, didn’t exactly have Jesus’ back. “Meanwhile, all his disciples had fled.” When the going got tough, the disciples got going! That is perhaps the more disturbing betrayal. Judas was supposed to be the bad guy—it was in the script. However, why were the other disciples, who had earlier that evening been arguing over whom Jesus loved the most, unwilling to stand by their teacher, friend, Lord during a difficult time?

It actually began earlier in the evening, when Jesus was distraught over the events to come.

“He took Peter, James and John with him and began to be filled with horror and deepest distress. And he said to them, ‘My soul is crushed by sorrow to the point of death; stay here and watch with me.’ He went on a little further and fell to the ground and prayed that if it were possible the awful hour awaiting him might never come. Then he returned to the three disciples and found them asleep. ‘Simon!’ he said. ‘Asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Watch with me and pray lest the Tempter overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak.’ And he went away again and prayed, repeating his pleadings. Again he returned to them and found them sleeping, for they were very tired. And they didn’t know what to say. The third time when he returned to them he said, ‘Sleep on; get your rest! But no! The time for sleep has ended! Look! I am betrayed into the hands of wicked men. Come! Get up! We must go! Look! My betrayer his here!’” (Mark 14:33-42)

The disciples didn’t let Jesus down once, but three times! All they had to do was stay awake in case He needed them for comfort. But they failed Him. Jesus told them, “my soul is crushed by sorrow.” Can you imagine a friend telling you that their soul is crushed by sorrow? That’s pretty intense. And yet the disciples still couldn’t manage to stay awake to comfort Jesus. Furthermore, when the mob came to get Him, they dispersed.

Peter hid in the shadows and followed the mob back to town from a distance. However, even he showed disloyalty to his King by denying that he was with Jesus, when asked by one of the High Priests’ maids.

“Meanwhile Peter was below in the courtyard. One of the maids who worked for the High Priest nocied Peter warming himself at the fire. She looked at him closely and then announced, ‘You were with Jesus, the Nazarene.’ Peter denied it. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about!’ he said, and walked over to the edge of the courtyard. Just then a rooster crowed. The maid saw him standing there and began telling the others, ‘There he is! There’s the disciple of Jesus!’ Peter denied it again. A little later others standing around the fire began saying to Peter, ‘You are, too, one of them, for you are from Galilee!’ He began to curse and swear. ‘I don’t even know this fellow you are talking about,’ he said. And immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Suddenly Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: ‘Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ And he began to cry.” (Mark 14:66-72)

I get the sense from the scripture that Peter surprised himself by betraying Jesus that way. However, Jesus wasn’t surprised. “‘All of you will desert me,‘ Jesus told them, ‘for God has declared through the prophets, “I will kill the Shepherd, and the sheep will scatter.” But after I am raised to life again, I will go to Galilee and meet you there.’”
(Mark 14:27-28)

I would like to think that if Jesus Christ asked me to stay awake for a couple of hours to be there for Him in case He needed me that I would. I would also like to think that if someone asked me if I knew Him or was with Him, I would not lie. But I know in my heart, that I am just as guilty of abandoning Him on a daily basis as His disciples were the night of His arrest.

How often do I deny Him by not speaking up when non-believing acquaintances poke fun at Christianity, either because I don’t want to offend anybody or because I don’t want to be ridiculed and singled out? How often do I abandon Him simply by not communing with Him in prayer as often as I should? I can go weeks on end devoting time each day to prayer and scripture, and then one busier than usual week pops up and what goes to the bottom of my to do list? Praying and reading scripture.

I know Peter’s pain to some extent. I have that awful feeling of not being loyal to my Lord and Savior. I have abandoned Him. And maybe He doesn’t need me the way I need Him, but He wants my love and devotion. And yet I withhold those from Him regularly, and offer them only when it’s convenient for me.

How would you handle a friend like that? If you had a friend who only came around when they needed something or when it was convenient, but was never there when you truly wanted or needed them to be, what would you do? Most of us would sever the relationship. What good is a friend like that?

Yet, Jesus doesn’t cut us off. He patiently waits for us to return to Him. He would rather have our hearts some of the time than none of the time. Can you imagine feeling that kind of love for a fair-weathered friend? I can’t. And knowing that Jesus can love me despite my on-again/off-again loyalty makes me realize the magnitude of His love for me, just as He loved the disciples despite their abandonment. He appeared to them as soon as He rose from the dead. The human in me would have said, “Forget about those guys! They abandoned me, to hell with them!”
But Jesus didn’t write them off. He loved them anyway. He appeared to them anyway. And they went on to be fierce proponents of His teachings, most of them being martyred in His name.

The legacy of Jesus’ love is still felt two millennia later. We crave His love, His peace, His wisdom. And just like the disciples, we abandon Him from time to time. But also like the disciples, we always come back.

Do you abandon Jesus from time to time? If so, how?